Sludge Town

Stuff I've overheard at work


"I got drunk again and ordered another sofa."

"Michael Buble's just fallen off the wall."

"She's got willies hanging from her ears. Willies. Willy earrings."

"I had a mate who used 'lol' a lot in texting, so I got hold of his phone and made 'lol' autocorrect to 'suck my balls'."

"I can't get into the Windows box, not even to type 'Fuck you, goddamn Windows box'."

"[Cow-irker] drove over her handbag. It's stuck in her wheel arch."

"Why have we got four nipples?"

"So we can milk each other."

"I'm like Jamie fucking Oliver but less of a knob."

"Stop eating yoghurt with a fork, it's not normal. "


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